


The Vow We Never Exchanged

by tootsuro



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Car Accidents, Character Death, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Made Myself Cry, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Letters, Love Confessions, Love Poems, M/M, Marriage, Memories, Oaths & Vows, POV Akaashi Keiji, POV Miya Osamu, Past Relationship(s), Soulmates, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26727664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tootsuro/pseuds/tootsuro
Summary: Akaashi Keiji loved writing poems so it wasn’t a surprise that he wanted his own poem to be the vows he’ll use with his marriage to Osamu Miya.As he writes his vows to Osamu, he browses through an old poem he’s written for a past lover and takes a trip down memory lane and recalls his first love—Bokuto Koutarou.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji & Miya Osamu, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Miya Osamu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	The Vow We Never Exchanged

It was two weeks away from the marriage and Akaashi sat in the silence of his room with only a table lamp illuminating the paper he was staring at while twisting his pen on his fingers. 

Even though he’s written so much before, his head was blank—no words would come up, his hands wouldn’t move to spill ink. 

He loved Osamu more than anything, but somehow, he couldn’t find the right words to say, he can’t think of promises he wanted to make with him. 

He thought maybe it was because he was afraid to make another promise that he might not be able to fulfill. 

He’s written one before, the memory of that poem lingered in the back of his mind, he kept it even though it’s been years. He knew bringing it out was a bad idea, keeping it was already felt like a sin.

And of course, he was aware that those feelings he turned into words is on a different level to what he’s feeling towards Osamu right now and it wouldn’t help him get over the block. 

After all, that last vow he had made was for his first love. 

For Bokuto Koutarou. 

A sigh escaped his lips, hopelessly, he pushed back the chair he sat in and set out to find where he kept his old works in. 

He brought out the small tin box he kept at the back of his closet, he carries it back to the table, he stared at it for a few minutes, contemplating whether it was a good idea to read what he’s already forgotten even if he used to know every word and feeling from it a few years back. 

Of course it was a bad idea, it was horrible! 

But even so, he gently removed the lid and the nostalgia flooded his heart as soon as he saw the familiar random items he kept in there besides the letters and poems. 

He stopped, breathing heavily as he stared at his reflection in the glass pane in front of him. 

He gingerly picked up the thin white silk ribbon and felt his heart break from the memories that rushed just by touching it. He set it aside with a shaky breath, he finally got a hold of the yellowing paper, it felt like it would crumble under his touch, but he still opened it. 

_Dear Bokuto-san,_

He stopped the moment _his_ name had appeared, it wasn’t the vow he was looking for, he recognized it as his first letter to him. 

_When you told me we were the protagonists of the world, I felt something tug at my heart. The smile you gave me at that moment felt like the sunlight after days of cold. That was when I realized I liked the silver in your hair, the slightly annoying "Hey Hey Hey" fueled me, when you call my name, the butterflies that flutter in my stomach._

_Bokuto-san, I am in love with you._

This was his letter of confession. He remembers it well, it was a cliche—under the fluttering pink petals of cherry blossoms, he was wearing the scarf Bokuto gave him for Christmas, Bokuto held that wide grin and that patient golden eyes that stared at him while he fumbled for the letter in his pocket. 

Fogs of his breath blurred his vision as he handed over the envelope, his nervousness taking over his body, his senses dull and his mind was blank.

He waited patiently as Bokuto opened the letter, minutes felt like hours as he watched Bokuto’s reaction morph. Akaashi’s hands trembled, his breathing hitched as soon as Bokuto had looked up from the stationery. 

When he didn’t speak, Akaashi thought of rejection, but as a smile lit Bokuto’s face, despite a few people passing by, the silver-haired boy didn’t mind and just proceeded to move closer to him. 

Soft lips, gently moving with eyelids fluttering under the fallen petals a color of blush, a cool breeze that wasn’t felt out of the warmth that blossomed from the embrace that they shared. 

Against their will, they had to part, but resting his forehead on his, “I love you too, Akaashi.” Bokuto breathed out, making the other smile while tears brimmed his lids. 

It’s been years, long enough for the memories to start to blur, but it hasn’t. It stays fresh, so is the wound on his chest every time he remembers it. 

There was no doubt though, of course, he loves Osamu Miya. 

But what he had with Bokuto wasn’t something to be ignored. 

His hands shook as he puts everything back, he couldn’t take the rush of memories. Probably, because he wasn’t ready to recall more of the feelings he had for him or maybe because he wasn’t ready to face the truth. 

“Keiji?” A voice calls out from outside his room, the door squeaked open just as he finished putting the tin can away. 

“Osamu,” He called back with a smile, he approached him and planted a kiss on his forehead. “How was your day?” He had asked, Akaashi looked back to the table and shakes his head lightly. 

“It’s been great, I’m writing the vows now. Do you want dinner?” He told as he led him back to the living room of their apartment. 

“No, you sit down and let me prepare you dinner, alright?” Osamu told him, he did, he watched adoringly as his fiancee begins to make his favorite meal for him. 

It was then, he was finally back to the present. 

That night though, a familiar scenery plays in his head. 

A dream. 

It felt so real, he really thought it was. Tears stream down his eyes the moment he woke up, he clenched his fist on his chest, his breathing heavy. 

No, it wasn’t a dream, it was a memory. 

Under the fallen leaves of autumn, he remembered well the hue that the sunset colored the city that afternoon, It drowned the buildings in orange light, a warm tone enough to feel nostalgia. 

It was abrupt, it was sudden, but he had said yes. It was a promise of forever, the silk white ribbon that Bokuto had put on his ring finger. 

He is brought back to now, where the silver ring sat on his finger, the same place the silk ribbon had been. 

He is reminded that it isn’t Bokuto beside him, but Osamu. 

A bittersweet smile broke from his lips, a scoff, and then he laid back down. 

He loves Osamu. 

But he also loves Bokuto, he will always love him. 


End file.
